Once you notice it, you’ll see it happening everywhere: the woman on FaceTime at the next table in the restaurant, the man scrolling Instagram Reels during the elementary school band concert, the employee in a virtual meeting at the pool sitting next to someone reading, fellow commuters or travelers enjoying music—all on speakerphone.
This shift hasn’t happened overnight. Gradually, more people in public places are foregoing headphones and sharing their digital activities loudly with everyone around them. With so many headphone options available, this choice is baffling. Do you really want me to hear about your mom’s recent doctor’s appointment while we’re both in the cereal aisle at Target? It’s hard to avoid eavesdropping when someone nearby has their volume turned up. So what’s going on?
The Impact of Doom-Scrolling and Phone Addictions
Smartphones provide an easy escape from potential boredom, offering distraction from stress, worldly worries, and other pressures. This constant need for entertainment, coupled with habits like FOMO and doom-scrolling, might worsen our mood but also explains why people might choose to use their phones without headphones in public. They simply aren’t considering those around them.
“They’re thinking about themselves,” says Taya Cohen, a professor of organizational behavior and theory at Carnegie Mellon University. This isn’t necessarily in a rude or malicious way. “When we focus narrowly on the content we’re consuming or the interaction we’re having,” Cohen explains, “we don’t think about how others might be negatively affected by the noise.”
Are We Becoming More Self-Centered?
The disruptive use of mobile phones in public is nothing new, but the increase in such behavior suggests a growing self-focus among people. Advances in technology—like improved microphones, speakers, and noise-suppressing capabilities—make it easier to go without headphones. As a result, the sounds we produce are clearer and more intrusive.
But why are loud speakerphone calls so annoying? Cohen notes, “When there are stimuli in the environment, we want to attend to them. It’s hard to suppress the temptation to focus on what the other person is doing. Some people can tune it out better than others, but it still can be a distraction.”
The Influence of Media on Phone Etiquette
Our public behavior might also be influenced by how phone use is portrayed in media, particularly reality TV shows where phone conversations on speakerphone are common. Seeing this behavior can shift our perception of what is acceptable.
“Once we see others doing something or believe they find it acceptable, it changes our view of social norms,” Cohen says. This can lead to a phenomenon known as pluralistic ignorance, where people believe others are more accepting of certain behaviors than they actually are.
Addressing Phone Rudeness
So why don’t we speak up when someone’s phone use is bothersome? Cohen suggests that people are reluctant to engage in difficult conversations and often misjudge how others will respond to honest feedback. Instead, people might vent frustrations on social media or within like-minded friend groups rather than addressing the issue directly.
However, having these conversations can be beneficial and less negative than expected. “We often mispredict the impact of honesty in our lives,” Cohen says. “Whether giving feedback or having difficult conversations, it tends to strengthen our relationships more than we anticipate.”
In balancing our actions between self-focus and consideration for others, it’s worth remembering the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated. This includes being mindful of how our behaviors, even seemingly innocuous ones like phone use, affect those around us.